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In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).In the end, we agree to part and she wishes me luck and assures me I'll find the perfect paramour. This was like having a meeting with a new accountant with a helping of self-disgust thrown in.Later on I'm perplexed when she sends me two flirty text messages.

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They are allowed to sign up for free as a way of ensuring the numbers are balanced between the sexes.But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.We have encountered one another via an internet dating service established for the sole purpose of enabling married people to commit adultery.This is how I find myself waiting for "Sophia Loren".She seems rather on edge and sends me a text message at the time we're due to meet asking why I'm using the website.

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